Create, Pitch, Sell

The Mysterious Boo Heron

After lunch today, I had three slices of bread leftover. Wasn't sure what to do with them. The humidity is too high here for them to last long in the bread bin. I couldn't make two sandwiches, and one and a half isn't very filling for two people. So…I decided to use the bread to find out what kinds of fish are lurking beneath the nearby pier.

The last time I took leftover bread to the seagulls I made the mistake of not shredding the slices beforehand. Some of the gulls got too close and caused me to drop a few. They snatched them up and flew off. Whole slices of bread dangling from their beaks and flapping in the wind. This time I shredded the bread into small chunks, then stuffed them back in the bag. Ever wonder how difficult it is to slide your hand into a narrow plastic bag after having slathered on suntan lotion...only moments before heading outside? The temperature was in the upper eighties. Heat and humidity made the lotion on the back of my hands a little sticky. Not the best time to mess around with bread when you have to get it out of the bag fast.

I hid the bread bag in my ballcap and carried it in my arms. Seagulls have eagle eyes, y'know. I strolled to the end of the pier, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. White caps smacked the pilings. I looked around. Nary a gull in sight. I leaned over the railing and pitched a piece of bread to the water. A gull swooped in so fast the bread never hit the water. I ignored him and tried to feed the fish. Within seconds, I heard the incessant yackhammer squawk of the seagulls. Dozens of them. A moment later, a pelican arrived on the scene to see what all the fuss was about. He kept missing the pieces I tossed to him while he was in the air. As if he understood, he landed on the water. I threw a small handful to the far side of the pelican to lure the gulls away, then tossed him a large chunk. What an ingrate. He spit it out! Well, he didn't actually spit it out since pelicans don't have lips, but you know what I mean. Soon as the chunk hit the water, a gull snatched it from him.

A blue heron flew down to the pier. I was out of bread now. The gulls seemed to realize the party was over. They lined up on the railing on one side of the pier. Most of them stared right at me. I swear, I thought they were sizing me up. Not sure if I was about to become dinner. *grin* Suddenly, the heron jumped down off the railing and landed in the middle of the walkway. He honked once at the gulls. No kiddin'. I'm sure it was some sort of a quack, but it came out like a honk. Some of the gulls took off. So did the pelican. The heron strutted his stuff along the walkway toward the shoreline, looking back at me ever once in a while. Eventually, he grew bored with his little game and flew away. I never did find out what kinds of fish are lurking below the pier. Maybe the heron was trying to warn me that I was better off not knowing.